unslumping yourself is not easily done

boo hoo, woe is me.. I'm having a pity party, would you like to come?

So I'm blue.. Funny, i never really get this way. Or at least when i do I'm pretty good at figuring out why and fixing it.. See? problem solved!

But this time i cant seem to put my finger on it.. I know that it has something to do with Presley going to school in two weeks (13 days to be exact) but i don't know what it is. Whatever it is, its bringing me down. I'm damn near in a full blown depression over it..

Okay i know that its tough when your babies go off to kindergarten (duh) but I've thought through everything about the entire situation and none of the rational, practical reason are whats bothering me. Its not that my baby is growing up. Presley is my big boy. He's always been the older brother, the big kid. Also, Presley is smart as a whip so in many ways I've always treated him like hes older than he is. There are days when even I have to remind myself that he is only five years old.. Its not that I'm going to miss him.. because really.. I'm not.. He'll be gone from just after seven to early afternoon each day and the thought of having all that free time, i don't know what I'm going to do with myself.. Yea I've got two smaller kids here but River and Wilson are pretty easy dudes to hang out with. Presley is my guy who has always needed a constant eye so with him in the safe arms of his teachers i know i will be able to relax.. Maybe even take a shower at a time other than 1 AM!! Its not that i worry about how Presley and all of his hyperactive impulsive aspieness will handle school.. We will build that bridge when we get to a river, worrying about it does no good so i don't bother with the wasted energy.. I pretty much treat life like that though. I'm not a worrier, its waste of time being anxious over things that you have no control over..

For the life of me i cant figure out why I'm so blue over this..

I'm starting to wonder if it has nothing to do with this at all. Maybe I've been so swept up with the boys and all of their endeavors these last few years that I've somehow swept something else under the rug.. Wow now that I've written that it makes much more sense..
A few weeks ago i started going back to the head shrinker.. Which i have avoided like the plague for most of my adult life because there are some things i just don't like to think about. and now that I'm back.. I'm thinking about them.. Which i shouldn't be because I've got alot of other stuff to think about right now.. Okay maybe that's the attitude that got me in this slump..

Whatevs.. Ill be over this in a week or so and ill be ready to start my new chapter, school aged kids!