The Situation

That's what I'm going to refer to Presley now, The Situation..

Today has been a really, really long day.. Today was the day that we took Presley up to his school to meet his teachers. It went... well it just went about as well as i thought it would.
As soon as we walked through the front door we had to walk past the toy box they keep next to the school nurses office (so far the only thing in his school he's ever seen) and because he didn't get to stop and play he started crying and whimpering, which if you know Pres, you know is something he does quite alot.. This was not a good foot to start our trip to the school on. We make it back to the kindergarten wing and hes gone into semi-panic mode. Semi-panic mode is the place where Pres spends about three quarters of his life. I get a clipboard full of paperwork to fill out and we walk on to the classroom. There we are met by two of the most pleasant women, clearly bred to be kindergarten teachers and they and Pres sit down at the table and start to talk. This is where Presley goes into full blown panic mode (otherwise known as our good old friend Asperger)... These super patient ladies are asking him questions about his colors and shapes, which he knows, in english and in german and he stops making the little bit of eye contact he does make starts doing his stimming breathing thing he does. He goes into what i call Haze gray and underway. He starts spouting off random facts about airplanes and quoting Top Gun (which his teacher thought was HILARIOUS).. I was heartbroken.. I see this brilliant kid who could explain how our eyes see color, not be able to tell his teacher what color the bear is because hes too busy flapping his hand in his hair.. I have been horrified for the last three months that this would happen and today it did..
I know that Presley is a little bit different than other kids but up until the last week or so I've had the Mama Gump attitude about it... If god intended everyone to be the same, he'd of given us all PDD.
Now I'm not so sure.
I'm trying to stay positive and tell myself that i just need to give him some time to get used to it and when he does he'll show everyone how brilliant I know he is. We'll show them!

I could use a little backing up though. Right now my whole life starting to feel like that moment when you take a big swig off your cup of coffee and realize that its cold.

I've got a handful of great friends who i feel like really listen to me.. Okay I've got two that i know i can lean on, that i can call whenever i need somebody to take me seriously as a Mother when it comes to Presley. I'm not desperately trying to reach out through a guilt trip right now. I'm just heavy with Mommy worry over something that alot of people in my life don't take very seriously. Hell i just got captain ADHD (James) to look and realize that this is real. Its really happening in our family and it really happened to our son.
If i have to hear one more person who only sees my kid 3 times a year tell me that his behavior is normal, or all kids go through this I'm going to fucking scream.. You know The Situation is five years old now and still doesn't sleep through the night? That's a milestone that most babies hit before they are ten months old, well my kid is five.. You know he cant ride a bike? not even one with training wheels, not even pedal a tricycle because of problems with proprioception and apraxia..

Okay.. I need to stop, I'm not accomplishing anything..

I'm just having one of the bad days of Motherhood, you know the ones we don't tell people about. The ones we all pretend don't happen and the ones we wouldn't dare tell our expecting friends about.. On the outside today was an amazing day, today i took my oldest boy to meet his very first teacher but on the inside i hit rock bottom, trying not to think about how hard some parts of life will be for my beautiful boy..