I try, very hard, on a daily basis to not complain..
I hate whiny women.. Okay i hate whiny people in general..
I realize that being satisfied with your life is a decision you make everyday and pretty much everything you have, you gave yourself.. You know that whole "you made your bed and now you gotta sleep in it thing". I'm a big fan of self-reliance..
All of these are reasons why i try not to complain. This and i just cant stand the sound of people bitching once they get past the age of 4 or so. Once your an adult you should have accepted the basic understanding that life is hard.. and pretty much shitty..
Pretentious, cynical.. Whatever, I've been called worse and today I'm about to bite somebodies head off..
Its been a long couple of weeks in this house and I'm a little bit worn down..
I need a break (this is where other peoples bitchin comes in).. I am soooo fucking sick of hearing my Mom friends bitch that they only get out of the house once a month or so.. James and I have been married 6 years and in that 6 years we've gone out, on a date, without kids three times.. Yea your once a month is sounding pretty good next to my once every 24 months. I don't play my military spouse card very often (because it happens to be something I'm quite proud of) but my husband has been gone for half of our marriage (i really don't know where we found the time to make these kids!) and we don't (never have and probably never will) live anywhere near family and friends who could maybe help me out. Not that i would ask..
I hate hearing women bitch about how they had to take their kid to grocery store with them.. Aww, hmm, bless your heart.. Try taking 3 (soon to be 4) kids with you because your spouse is on a different continent. And while your there you have to keep the babies fed, dry and happy, keep the three year old from melting down and keep explaining to strangers why the five year old is making weird noises with his eyes rolled back in his head..
Ah but i cant complain for some reason.. James is in the military and most people have the attitude of well, he knew what he signed up for (but wait, i have great health insurance).. Yea because that makes it easier on the children. The children, yes i know what causes that too.. And sure i could take a break, go out, relax.. Because there is just a world full of babysitters who i trust that can handle hyperactive aspie with tourettes..
Im bored, lonely, pregnant and i miss my husband..
Did i mention that for the last 6 days all of the children have had fevers and bright green ninja turtle ooze dripping from their faces?
okay.. I think all i have succeeded in doing here is putting myself in a worse mood so im going to stop now..
Putting my happy face back on and maybe tomorrow wont suck.. But hey even if it does, i probably wont say anything..
You ever wonder if those people who have strokes from being under immense stress realize thats whats happening when it happens?
Emotion eating could help you right now, maybe?
ReplyDeleteThe day we got JJ's diagnosis, my husband's best friend's wife (whom I tolerate a weekly phone call from ONLY because he ONLY has one friend and I feel compelled to keep his ONLY friendship alive via tolerating this bitch) called me to complain about a mix up with the bathroom drawer pulls at the new house they were building. She went on and on for 20 plus minutes.
I said nothing because I knew if I opened my mouth I would have let her have it.
Then her 3 year old, who still sits in a highchair with a sippy cup and a bib, dropped his sippy cup and milk droplets got on the new hand towel she had just hung up. She screamed at him, started bawling and hung up on me.
I spent days angry at her and every one else whose problems were obviously way less serious than mine. How could someone have the audacity to complain about the Target lady not scanning their 50 cent coupon when I was sitting on a 8 month waiting list to get help for JJ? And so on and so forth.
I have lots of days where I get mad, but I do try hard to remember that problems are problems whether it's an ocean to cross or a damn stream when you've got socks that can't get wet. And I try to count my lucky stars that other people just have the damn streams. Maybe someday I'll just have a stream too?
Get angry. It's good for you. It's when you don't and you are all numb and silent and still that you know you are in serious trouble. I've been there too :(
How many more weeks sans James?
abby