Ma'am and Sir?

I know that i am Southern to the bone. It is in every piece of my being. The way i eat, talk, relax and raise my children are all in that hazy Southern way. I, like most Southern parents expect my children to say yes Ma'am and no Sir. Not so much because its polite but because its rude if you don't. They also don't put their elbows on the table and have to say please and thank you if they want anything.. I realized more than i ever have when i was in California that not everybody feels that is as important as I do. I had a friend out there who (against her husbands wishes) made a point of NOT teaching her son things that i thought were basic manners because she felt like it was forcing him to respect her and in her opinion respect is something you earn. Now this woman is a good woman and a good Mother but i never could understand her reasoning behind this. This kid was not 17, he was 4. I don't think that teaching my kiddos Ma'am and Sir is forcing respect but rather instilling respect. My parents always taught me that you respect your elders regardless and in my house, I'm one of the elders! I did not live all these years to take crap off of a three year old. You will not talk back to me and you will not be demanding. I know this process will undoubtedly get harder as the boys get older but for now its not hard to be polite. I don't think you could ever just know how to be respectful if your not taught respect.. That makes sense right? And totally besides the respect side of it, its polite. Polite to me is alot more than Thank you and alot of what i thought was polite didn't really matter in (that particular) friend's house.
Merriam-Webster defines polite as showing or characterized by correct social usage b : marked by an appearance of consideration, tact, deference, or courtesy c : marked by a lack of roughness or crudities..
AKA no farting at the table.. I'm not raising bigger versions of my little boys I'm raising gentlemen here.. I think our entire country would be so much better off if Moms and Dads reminded their children that they are Ma'ams and Sirs..