Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

I'm in this weird Semisonic reminiscent thing right now..


My Dirty Joe, my 005, my inches from albino child, my Presley is going to start going to school in a few weeks and i am just not handling this well at all.. I keep saying I'm not ready for this but its so much more than that. I hated school! I hated it with a passion! I did not like being forced into being in a room full of strangers and shared air, being told what to do by some woman that i didn't know. I hated being forced into socializing and now i hate that I'm about to put my own son through this. It just doesn't seem fair. What did he do to deserve having to go through this? He's such a good kid and hes so smart (and really I'm not just saying that because I'm his Mother, can your 4 year old find the Philippines on a map? mine can..) and I'm so scared that putting him in a room full of nuerotypical, boring, overweight and under mannered kids is only going to hinder him.. Okay i recognize that my point of view on this off balance (one) because I'm his Mother and (two) i went to terrible schools. No really, some of the worst in the country. I just get the feeling that this isn't going to be the best thing ever that i keep hearing from average Mothers of average children..
This is going to change so much for us.. I can literally count on one hand how many times my children have stayed the night away from me. They have never been to daycare and have never been babysat. I didn't have my children to pay someone else to take care of them for me. This will be the beginning of outside influence and I am VERY nervous about that. James and I pride ourselves in not lying to our children about anything. If they have a question, we give them an honest answer. There has been no Santa Clause, Easter Bunny, Jesus, babies come from a cabbage patch around here. I try very hard to teach my kids to think for themselves, they will not be sheep. They do not chew gum, they do not put their elbows on the table and I will not tolerate gross habits they pick up from kids who's parents don't care.. UGH!! I am so stressed out about this!!
This is going to change more than just Presley's life. This will change our entire family dynamic. We are entering the age of having school aged kids.. No more packing up and spending a week in Hburg when we feel like it. All of our trips will have to be scheduled around school days and spring breaks. Hell, even when we pcs we'll have to manage it around school now.. Backpacks, lunch bags, trapper keepers (do they still make those?), back to school sales, pencils, elmers glue... Even the clutter around my house is going to change..