Day 7

Day #7. A picture of your most treasured item..

hmmm.. Okay (this is not including the kids or stuff like that but) my most treasured physical possession is..



My celadon elephant that James got me in Thailand.. I LOVE this little guy! Before James left for deployment he asked what I wanted him to get me from overseas, I told him something green.. He came home the next year with it. It was perfect! My favorite color, my favorite animal. He really surprised me (no offense James) in putting actual thought into what to get for me. Searching it out. I cried at the sight of it. I knew it was something that i would treasure for the rest of my life. I cried every time James had to leave after that but the sight of this little guy reminded me that James was thinking about me..

I cried really, really hard when i walked into our living room to see Presley had climbed 6 feet to the top of the entertainment cabinet, gotten it down and was slamming it into the floor. Shattering it.
I spent two weeks trying to glue it back together.. I still have it and it still kind of looks like an elephant.
It took every bone in my body to keep me from beating him to death with the broken pieces of it..
It now sits on a plant ledge about 10 feet up, holding up some encyclopedias..

Id like to see that little shit try to get it down now!

Day 5

Day 5. A picture of your favorite memory..

Is it even possible to take a picture of a memory? Maybe if i think real hard about something and take a picture of myself.. Hmm..

We'll skip this one because its impossible.. On to the next day

Day 6. A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day


(Thats little me by the way)

Oh if i could.. And know what i do now.. I would go back and put a stop to a few things.. Nothing i really want to go into detail about, just things.. But things that have had a profound impact on who i am today, what im capable of and how i feel about myself..

Im a smoker

You know what?

I smoke!

I smoke Camel Filters (in a box, 99s) and i have for quite some time. I smoke quite often, up to a pack a day..

You know what bothers me more than most things in life?

When some uppity dip-shit feels the need to tell me that cigarettes are bad for me.. Like i have managed to live my entire life and some how or another miss that bit of crucial information..
Its written on the side of the box, i know how to read. Thankyou..
Yes i know they are going to kill me. Im very well aware of the fact that im going to die one day. In fact, im so sure of my own death that ive already made arrangements for it. If i want to die by drowning in my cancerous mucous then thats my problem.. I can promise you (ass hat) in the Walmart parking lot that your dirty look and smart ass comment arent going to stop me from smoking. It actually makes me want to light up another one so i can walk really close to you and share some of my nicotene.
You clearly need it..
Im glad that you hate cigarettes or smokers in general. I hate pretentious douche bags that feel entitled to the right to judge my life because you walked past me.. So its a good damn thing im me and you are you..

Have a nice day now..

I should do this more often..

Everyday 15 or so things to blog about pop in my head. My handbag is full of little scraps of paper with blog topics written on them!
I cant remember the last time i actually blogged..
I think i started some number of things to blog about project but im awesome at starting a project and NEVER finishing it.. Unless of course its for somebody else.. Cards, gifts, happies.. Those things i can finish without a problem. Two days after i found out i was pregnant, i started knitting a babies blanket for future Finneas. Hes 16 weeks old today and i havent even finished the first skein and its only a 6 ounce skein!! But my girlfriend is due with their (combined) 4th boy in a few weeks and im already almost done with hers..
I make all the excuses. Im busy. Im tired. There arent enough hours in the day. The boys got into my crafting supplies and teepeed my house with yarn and hid all my needles and hooks.. I tell myself they arent excuses but reasons..
The reason i've stopped blogging is my PC is in my bedroom. Finn's crib is also in my bedroom. My typing wont wake him up but me sending one of the bigger boys out of the room every few minutes will. Also, Wilson has a very "out of sight, out of mind" view on Mommy law. The moment he realizes im not in the room he goes buck wild!
So heres my plan. Im going to be stupid for a week and relocate my computer to the living room. I know this is almost an open invitation for the children to destroy my computer but a few weeks ago i turned my studio room into a play room for the boys so they have pretty much vacated the living room. So this may work.. We'll see!

Too much time to think..

So my water broke at 31 weeks and 6 days.. I have now been laying in the bed in the hospital for 5 days and im driving myself crazy..
This isnt exactly how i had planned the last few days of my childbearing years but I guess I'll take what i can get..

Bill Lumbergh (from Office Space) is my doctor..

The nurses station has little snacks and drinks for patients (like most do) but for some reason this one has soda.. Is soda really what we should be offering people in need of health care? And while were on the subject, Sierra Mist Naturals? Whats so damn natural about a lemon lime carbonated beverage?

Unicorns and glitter!!

Ive never really been a big fan of television.. For the most part the only thing on TV i truly enjoy is Jeopardy. After being layed up in this bed for a week, I REALLY dont like television. My brain feels dull.

You know how much i love my kids? The boys dumped an entire bag of grass seed in my veggie garden and i dont really care. The grass its growing is beautiful, makes the veggies look like weeds..

Though i dont go to church (or believe for that matter) Its weirdly comforting that this is a Catholic hospital with statues of flying nuns all over the place and im staying in a place called the Seton Center..

Rolling around in a wheel chair is not as fun as it used to be.

I miss noise. All this quiet is weird. No screaming little boys, nothing breaking. No Blue Angels circling my house. I know peace and quiet is soothing for some people, for others though.. Its stressful.

You know that expression "when it rains, it pours"? Since Ive been in the hospital we learned that Wilson is severely allergic to ant bites. The poor little dude is covered from head to toe in wicked hives from a bite on his foot..

I miss my dudes so much. Ive never been one of those Moms that cant stand to be away from their children. Hell yea ill take a break when i can get it! But I've never had to be away from them this long. Im on the end of my fifth day in the hospital and im really starting to miss the little things about each of them. I miss Presley's questions, I miss River's snuggles and I miss Wilson's little words (hes learning a new one about every hour)..

Ive got a great view of the parking garage and a few strips of the parking lot next to it. Im starting to think the driver's license exam should be harder.

When you use the expression "hot as balls in here", docs look at you weird..

Today with my lunch i got gatorade in a can.. It was weird!

There are two things that women tend to do that drive me crazy.. The first is complain that they dont have a man (gag, vomit, deal).. And the second is women who have kids complain that they dont get a break or dont have a babysitter.. Yea, you had kids.. Tough..

As horrible as it sounds, Im so ready to have this baby.. I know everyday he stays inside is two less days he'll have to stay in the NICU. I know its not time for him to be born, i know hes small.. But i cant lay in this hospital for another month! I feel like an old dog that needs to be put down because of bad hips. Im achy and sore and sick and damn tired of the inside of this room. I miss my house. I miss my kids. I miss being barefoot in my kitchen. I had plans for this week damnit! Presley's spring break ends soon and hes got to be back at class on Monday. My Mom came down the day my water broke and her and James have been taking shifts at the hospital with me but she has to leave on Monday then James will have to stay at home full time with the kids and that leaves me up here by myself (yea pity party i know..).. I have no idea how im going to make this work if i have to stay here..

Okay well im gonna go walk to the coffee pot (the only thing im allowed to walk to) and maybe something amazing will happen..
Thanks for reading the ramblings of a crazy lady..
Next post: The ferret family

Day #4

Day 4. A picture of your favorite night..
Well i really dont like night time. It makes me feel un-productive, so i wouldnt really have a favorite night.. So then i guess it becomes a competetion of cool things that happened at night..
So Wilson being born wins it..
(Presley was also born at night but his birth was scary and painful and it had only just gotten dark when he was born..)
I was pretty sure i was in labor when James got off work..
I knew i was in labor when i left the grocery store..
Hard labor by the time the kids were bathed and at the baby sitter..
At 2:40 am Wilson was born in a quiet, dimly lit, peaceful room to his Father and I with just the Doctor and the Nurse who left a few minutes later.. It was beautiful. We named him and I nursed him and then the three of us took a nap..

My first two births were very hectic.. There were about 15 people in the room when Presley finally came and Maggie flew out to be with us when River was born (who came so fast the Doctor almost missed him!).. So just me and James in a quiet room was quite different..

Day #3

Day 3. A picture of the cast from your favorite show..

Okay this is easy..



ER changed my life yall.. That was MY show! When Dr. Mark Greene died, i literally threw up because of all the emotion. I spent many years wanting to be like Abby. I cried through every episode of the last season because I knew i was going to lose 15 seasons worth of friends.. I really think my love of ER would fall under the jurisdiction of an addiction because really did affect my day to day life.. I wouldn't answer the door if a knew episode was on!
And then it ended..

I still don't have another show that i make a point to watch..