5 things i try not to do..

5. I try not to tell other people what to do with their kids..
I know that generally i come off as blunt and obtrusive so i pretty much try to avoid sensitive topics (like parenting styles).. People get really defensive over how they raise their kids.. Good thing about that is there are a million different ways to raise a kid right and only a handful of ways to screw them up permanently.. So when i see people raising pansy, bratty, disrespectful toddlers I'm not going to say anything out loud to you, though you can be assured in my head I'm thinking "have fun with that in 15 years". I know that people probably think that I'm too hard on my boys or not affectionate enough or whatever. But don't tell me what you think I'm doing wrong. If i had wanted sissies i would have given them girls names.. okay back to my point, i don't tell other people what to do with their kids (unless they ask) because i don't want anybody telling me how to raise mine..

4. I try to never say never.
7 years ago when James and I started dating if someone had told me where we would be today, i would have called bullshit on em'.. 10 years ago if someone had told me that one day i would be dating James, i wouldn't have believed them and 16 years ago, if you had tracked down little Brandy riding in the back of her Moms suburban and told me one day you'll drive your own suburban with 3 kids of your own... You get my point... You never know where tomorrow will take you. What is permanent anyway? Ill never leave this town? That was something i said alot growing up in Hattiesburg and guess where i don't live anymore! 5 minutes after the most excruciating pain i think any human could ever go through during the delivery of Presley i thought, I am never doing that again.. Well i wouldn't have all three of my beautiful boys then would I??

3. I try not to lie to my kids..
I'm raising my boys as atheist, i don't want their little blond heads full of delusions about a magic zombie saving their souls with a fat guy in a red suit and a rabbit that lays eggs.. When i was pregnant with Wilson and Presley asked how DID the baby get in there? I simply told him Daddy put it there with a special hug that Mommy's and Daddy's do.. Just because children are young and their thoughts aren't exactly deep yet doesn't mean they don't rationalize.. I want to always be honest with the boys because i want the boys to always be honest with me.. They need to feel like they can talk to Mom and Dad and be upfront, not talking in circles behind birds and bees or monsters in closets.. I try to give my kids credit for having thoughts, questions, concerns and opinions.. I remember being lied to as a kid by adults who didn't think i could handle the truth, and it bugged me..

2. I try not to let other peoples opinions of me, get to me..
Like i said before i know that i come off as blunt and most people either really like me or just cant stand the sight of me.. I tell myself that its those people that have a problem with themselves and not me. Sometimes the truth hurts and you can either take it like a man or you can decide that you don't like me because I'm the only person around you that's being honest with you... Stop going to the bar and picking up strange men, your a mother for Pete's sake...

1. I try not to complain about being a Mom
okay not directly, i cant think anyone who complains of JUST being a mom but the parts of being a Mom. I know your tired, were all fucking tired!! I'm sorry you don't have any time for yourself but that's not what you signed up for!! I try not to complain about the hard parts of Motherhood because anyone who is a mother (whether a great Mom or a shitty mom) already knows.. I don't want to complain about being tired to a bunch of women who are also tired because its almost rude.. Hell it is rude! We all go through these things and everybody handles it differently. Some of us were made to be Mothers and the hard days are just a breeze, some of us's whole world just crumbles because the three week old baby who sleeps 20 hours a day is too much work.. I think i fall somewhere in the middle of those two examples and i try to keep my head up and keep a handle on the housework.. I know that i don't have much time for myself right now but time for myself just isn't a part of this chapter.. This is the building my family, having little babies, always being pregnant, never sleeping and taking the little bit of extra time I've got and giving it to my husband chapter.. and as sad as it is, this chapter will be over before i know it and my boys will get bigger and life will move on.. Ill have plenty of time to sleep later in my book but for now that's not what life is about..

So heres a few things

I totally suck, so theres that..

My baby sister has now officially been sworn into the Air Force and i could not be any prouder of her! This is going to be an amazing opportunity for her that can and will change her life.
I am excited, anxious, scared, nervous, super proud and in a small way, really jealous of her.. This is a BIG thing in her life. Unless your active duty or a dependant you cant understand how different it is from the civilian life. She is going to travel, earn a good living, get great training.. All this is really kind of reminding me that i haven't done anything with my life. I'm a stay at home house wife.. I pop out a baby every other year and i change diapers and teach letters and numbers all day. Yea yea yea being a stay at home Mom is the hardest job, blahdeblah, whatever.. I don't have a career. I never finished college. I'm not getting any younger. I'm not contributing financially to this family, the only part of this family that i contribute to is the size! Don't get me wrong, we make it just fine.. We have three kids, a nice house, two nice cars, no debt. All of our bills get paid, there is always food on the table and we are even considering a fourth little one.. I'm just feeling a little blasé about my life these days..
And theres my baby sister, the trail blazer. Who has always been so confident and always been able to do whatever she sets out to do. She got the good legs and is an actual redhead and now shes even more than that, shes airman recruit Aunt Maggie. I cant say it enough how proud of her I am, she wanted a change in her life so she made one. That's not an easy thing to do. Especially when the change you make is chipping away at the wall surrounding the bigges boys club there is (the American Military).. Shes going to do amazingly well with this. Damn it now I'm crying, i hate it when i cry. I feel like a little bitch..

This is me and Maggie when we were little girls. We were typical Barbie playin, hair pulling, screaming like banshees sisters.. And now look at us! Im old as hell and I've got 19 kids and Maggie is still tall, hot and now about to move to Japan.. I hope she knows how proud of her I am and how much i look up to her.. How she inspires me to know that i can make a change in my life, I've just got to get up and do it..

I like making list

I like to make list. I make two or three list a day and keep a few ongoing list in my kitchen.. I actually have a small list making station on the island in my kitchen, its a basket full of 5x7 card stock with two or three different colored pens..
I make a grocery list (coffee, milk, eggs), an errand list (dry cleaners... ugh), a house stuff list (ac filter), a chore list (just so happens my goal today is 6 loads of laundry and fixing the towel bar in the kids bathroom..)
I guess i should get on that..
Today is a big day in the Tangman House, Today is day one of not being slaves anymore.. We set our quit date and it was yesterday. We had our last cigarettes around 2300 and we then broke the rest of them that were in the pack.. Im not really super stoked about quitting, hell i like cigarettes, i just dont like anything other than ME controlling my life.. Im tired of taking breaks, im tired of having smelly hair and dull skin, im tired of paying almost 6 bucks for ONE box of cigarettes.. 6 bucks just for some nails in my coffin..
Speaking of coffins, I want mine to be made out of paper mache and i would like to be buried somewhere in the woods.. No seriously i do..

You should check it out, its a great alternative to being preserved (i guess to look nice for jesus?) and being locked in a cement box forever.. No embalming, no ridiculous frills, just laying someone to rest..
hmmmm...
I saw a commercial the other day for an automated soap pump, to put next to your sink.. The whole point of the commercial was that your soap pump is dirty and can harbor bacteria so they made this one that you dont have to touch, its motion activated and it just spits some soap out at you.. This has just been pissing me off for days now.. Was handwashing so outdated that it needed to be improved upon? and really, its your fucking soap pump, so what if its got germs on it? You use to it WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS!!! Besides either people wash their hands or they dont (yea some people dont... uuugh) and automated soap pump that can protect you from the germs that you were going to wash off anyway isnt going to change anybody's habits..

More than just a piece of paper

So we made it to five years.. crazy huh?

Some people say that all a "marraige" is, is a piece of paper... Those people are just really bitter. I can tell you that its more than just that.. Its a commitment to each other, its a contract for life, its a promise to have and to hold til death do you part..
I love being married.
I love being married so much that every few weeks i dig through the filing cabinet just to find our "piece of paper" just to look at it.
It may horrify some people to be this invested in someone else but thats what being married is all about.. We dont have mine or yours, its all ours.. (except my truck, thats mine..) Our house, our bills, our money, our kids. We all have the same last name, we all live together, we are a family and i just dont know if it would feel this real if James and I didnt have our "piece of paper"..
Now im not getting into the politics of marraige, i know there are some folks out there who love and care for each other deeply but because of somebody else's backwoods biblical opinion they cannot get married.. I wish it was different, i wish everybody could know how special this is..

April is a big month..

So April is here and Spring has sprung at the Tangman house.. We've got alot to accomplish this month!

First off, we've got to finish the yard!
We rented this house last fall and it has a HUGE backyard, great for the kids but its been a little neglected in the last few years.. Mostly it just needs to be cleaned up.. We've probably gotten it about halfway done and were going to try and finish it this weekend.. yay
Spring cleaning is after that.. Putting up the winter clothes, finish cleaning out the garage, go through everything that Wilson has grown out of and send it to Cousin Ashley for her brand new little one!!
Another big one this month is (not this weekend but next) two of James' best friends from highschool and their families are coming to stay with us for a few days and I can not wait!! These are people that James and I care about alot and we really havent got to spend any real time with them in a few years because weve been living on the West Coast.. It'll be nice to catch up and see the guys be grown-ups together.. Plus half of one of those families is a very good friend of mine (!!!) and i cant wait to hang out with Cassie and her little guy!!
Also this month ive got to start getting things ready for the super birthday party we are throwing in Hattiesburg at the end of June.. its a Super party because its Wilson's first and Presley's fifth.. I havent really been able to have the big cool kind of bday parties for the boys that ive wanted because our family and friends have been so far away.. But now were close to home and we can celebrate our kids with the people that we love (no offense CA, we love yall too but you know..)..
Well James is standing watch all day today and ive got alot of work that needs to get done before he gets home so i best get back to it..
bran